Being incredibly accident prone and having gangly phantom limbs, there are a lot of things I shouldn't be allowed to do (e.g. carry Grandma's crystal, pour drinks, cook popcorn in a sensitive microwave, and be a waitress EVER.***) Because I'm the kid who should probably sleep in a helmet, I should also probably not wear heels in public or on slippery surfaces. But I do because my eleven year-old cousins are all taller than I am and I always get carded at the movie theatre and also when I buy NyQuil at Kroger. But that's another, probably unsurprising, story. *Most Interesting Man In the World Voice* I don't always wear heels, but when I do...I fall in them or just restrict myself to merely sitting. My incessant flailing doesn't stop me from buying them though. (Let's be real, nothing stops be from buying anything. I'm going to be broke by age 22 and living out of an airstream behind CVS.) And unlike Donald Trump, I don't discriminate...when it comes to shoe buying. Black, white, sparkly and furry, bring 'em out. Of late, I've been a hard-core klepto when it's come to all of my mom's pointy-toed shoes, especially these KILLER leopard d'orsay kitten heels by Sam Edelman. They may only raise my height to a measly 5'4" BUT they are so beautiful and soft and make me feel like Emily Blunt in The Devil Wears Prada. ***Waffle House, Inc, as much as you value me as a customer pls never hire me. See you next week. I'd like to take a moment to defend my gal pal the kitten heel, here. Yes, she is the DUFF of the shoe friend group; she'll never be as sexy as Student Council president Stiletto and not quite as badass as the Doc Martens girl in art class, but she's sensible and cute in her own way, DARN IT!! Lay off, Nana, she'll find a boyfriend when she's ready! Wildly underrated like Stake 'n' Shake and Will and Grace, kitten heels are the perfect combination of "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman, but I can walk in these without looking drunk/like a baby giraffe." If I've convinced you that you won't look like a PTO mom and you're willing to take these babies for a spin, check out these JC lace-up heels, THESE Sam Edelman's on SALE, and my favorite of ALL TIME, the Valentino Rockstud Pump (looking for a sugar daddy to buy me these.) If you're still a hater and clap when the plane lands, take a moment to look at these hot ladies wearing them. Taylor Swift!! Alexa Chung!!! Vintage Blouse: Goodwill ($4) Odds are, this is someone's Mimi's blouse from 1983, so here's a shortcut: ASOS lace-up blouse, ModCloth pintuck blouse. Black Jeans: Topshop ($65) !!!!! Do you hear me screaming!!! These are my favorite jeans of all time and I have them in multiple colors and still want more. They make me feel like J-Lo; buy them here. Choker: Vintage, my mother's Buy a similar one at NastyGal. Shoes: Sam Edelman from Nordstrom Rack ($79 on sale) Unfortunately, they're sold out online, BUT Sam Edelman makes a very similar pair. Buy Sam Edelman Okala here. Thanks for reading this while your Netflix was buffering or because it kept showing up on your Facebook feed!! Stay tuned for my Spring 2016 CF Style Guru bio next week, or click around here to read some stuff I wrote and overlook the bad jokes I slipped in.
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December 2015
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